Hello dear readers, I would like to share with you all a list of tips to help you through going to an interview or your future mother-in-law’s (disclaimer…I am not to be held liable or responsible if/when your mother-in-law throws her spotted dick at you and forbids you from entering the house or marrying her child, if/when your partner calls you an uncouth moron and if/when your employer/interviewer fires you) with all of the aforementioned little niggles out of the way, let us begin…after you…no after you…no after y-oh bugger let’s just start;
A) DO NOT scratch your ass in the work environment, we all see you trying to pick that wedgie, just don’t do it in front of the security camera, you’ll be the laughing stock of the water cooler.
B) DO suck up to the boss but don’t alienate the staff, this sounds tricky but it’s deceivingly simple, just bring cake, as Donkey says “Everybody likes cake”.
C) DO NOT pick your nose…or just do it so secret that you become a nose ninja and certainly don’t eat it.
E) DO NOT tell your partners mother that she must be dressed in camouflage because her tweed suit fits in with her bush, you can kiss your ass goodbye because you won’t be to kiss your partner anymore.
F) DO NOT smile shamelessly to your partners father, he may be old but too much and he will take it as flirting, and needless to that this kind of thing doesn’t bode well for any long term relationship.
G) DO Be a good person, polite, brave and courteous because if you have made some of the mistakes above, you’re going to need to be.
Lots of roars Kelly.