Cost and Consumerism.

Hello dear readers I would like to have a fairly lighthearted chat about our symbiotic relationship with the beauty industry. I’ll preface this by telling you a fact about me…I’ve never been to a beautician or salon, never had the money or the inclination to let a stranger manhandle my cranium, which is why it might be surprising that I’ve decided to break the package black dye habit, not that I didn’t like it but because I feel like it’s time for a change and I don’t think I’d be comfortable bleaching at home because of obvious reasons. So I decided that I shall book an appointment with a salon which lead me to have an open discussion about the outrageous nature of our societal obsession with the aesthetic and the corporate greed that accompanies it, I should mention it’s not my intention to shame anyone, so let’s start the chat;

A little pet peeve of mine (and perhaps you) is the over sexualised nature that salons and corporations use to sell products, yes I know that we’ll never escape such marketing but it is misinformation, a lie, a hook to reel potential clients in with, as I say it’s only a minor peeve but I thought I’d mention it.

Another misrepresentation is the fact that half of the employees seem incapable of creating the hairstyles they sell, I don’t mind variation but when it’s clearly a completely different style, it becomes ridiculous and when the inevitable “I’d like my money back” is uttered, see their facade falter.

The cost…am I really to pay an extortionate $50 for a blow dry? seriously?! no…just no, not when I’ve got a hairdryer and an ounce of sense at home, look I’m not trying to besmirch anyone or throw shade at beauticians/hairdressers, I mean most from what I’ve seen are amazing, I know you have to make a buck and most don’t charge that much but for the ones that do, it’s not happening bro.

So what do they get…money and clientele, that’s been established but the other side of the coin should be explored for arguments sake.

The service of smaller salons is usually exemplary, great charming staff and quality cuts, dyes and most of the time they style your hair how you would like it, not what they think is the appropriate look for you because your styles is yours to define.

What we attain from these more ‘indie’ salons is actually tantamount to a small miracle, the confidence to walk out those doors feeling like a diva with our heads held high and a spring in our step, glistening dewy skin and luscious hair, amazing nails (I love a good mani-pedi) and maybe even strike up a friendship or two with staff and fellow customers.

We ask and they do, they create works of art, intricate beauties and beachy waves, with a good attitude, plenty of skill and a curling iron they change our physical appearance into the person we feel inside.

In summery, it’s not really surprising or even a new statement about the nature of corporations but I just felt like saying that there are amazing independent salons out their I suggest you try those ones sometimes because the cost/lack of quality of the bigger ones are not really worth it.

Lots of roars Kelly.

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Eloquence and Etiquette…A Simple Guide.

Hello dear readers, I would like to share with you all a list of tips to help you through going to an interview or your future mother-in-law’s (disclaimer…I am not to be held liable or responsible if/when your mother-in-law throws her spotted dick at you and forbids you from entering the house or marrying her child, if/when your partner calls you an uncouth moron and if/when your employer/interviewer fires you) with all of the aforementioned little niggles out of the way, let us begin…after you…no after you…no after y-oh bugger let’s just start;

A) DO NOT scratch your ass in the work environment, we all see you trying to pick that wedgie, just don’t do it in front of the security camera, you’ll be the laughing stock of the water cooler.

B) DO suck up to the boss but don’t alienate the staff, this sounds tricky but it’s deceivingly simple, just bring cake, as Donkey says “Everybody likes cake”.

C) DO NOT pick your nose…or just do it so secret that you become a nose ninja and certainly don’t eat it.

E) DO NOT tell your partners mother that she must be dressed in camouflage because her tweed suit fits in with her bush, you can kiss your ass goodbye because you won’t be to kiss your partner anymore.

F) DO NOT smile shamelessly to your partners father, he may be old but too much and he will take it as flirting, and needless to that this kind of thing doesn’t bode well for any long term relationship.

G) DO Be a good person, polite, brave and courteous because if you have made some of the mistakes above, you’re going to need to be.

Lots of roars Kelly.

Applications and Apprehension.

Hello dear readers I’d like to discuss something dreadfully nerve-wracking…job interviews (or lack thereof lol). I’ve applied for fifty jobs and received few interviews, one secretarial, one warehouse, one pending paralegal, one PT with training, one private tuition and a rejection from a tearoom?! Anyway I thought that I’d write this to just complain really and share some insights (annoyances?) with you…I’m sorry in advance;

A) To companies who already have the placements filled, stop advertising the same job? I’m not sure what you’re trying to achieve by doing it but stop, it’s disappointing and disrespectful (Forgive me for my constant alliteration but I have a penchant for it).

B) Why is it only ever the most random job that’s also the furthest away schedules an interview? seriously?! Those were my last options.

C) And to job advisers, why? just why? I mean yes of course I’m looking, what am I doing here all day? twiddling my toes? lol

D) Advisers please stop trying to send me to work experience that is too far away especially when you’ve got proof that some people can’t drive, some people have anxiety or other illnesses, they can’t do all the things you take for granted, show a little mercy and compassion  and let’s face it, common decency.

E) Don’t say you’ll take anyone regardless of experience and then hire the exact opposite.

F) Companies should give more inexperienced people some you know, actual experience, it’s a vicious cycle, “Come back when you have more experience” they say but no one will give that these days…how about you stop employing cheap labour and start giving apprenticeships, I mean waiting tables isn’t that hard to teach.

G) Please if you’re going to reject me give me a reason or at least some constructive criticism! Oh and the worst offender is when they don’t back to you at all! I mean I’ve sent out about fifty applications, only received one rejection letter, the rest have left me with silence.

H) But always count your blessings…because life is about living, loving and laughing and most of us have it better than others.

Lots of roars Kelly, P.S sorry this was mainly a terrible rant lol.

Dear Lioness?!

I’m thinking of starting a little agony aunt/rant-a-thon site in the future, probably separate from this one, I mean I’ve always been (fairly) discrete and (very) nosy, so what could go wrong, anyone have any ideas, yay or nay?! Sorry for this pitifully short post currently annoyed at the state of ones phone bill lol.

Lots of roars Kelly

Madrigal Madness.

Hello, dear readers. I thought I’d write a short blog (hilarious I know) and chat to you about  music, a cappella mainly…it comes down to a question, am I the only working class twenty something who enjoys it…particularly The King’s Singers, a unique lineup of talented men who are made up of predominantly choral singers, I first ‘discovered’  them via YouTube (as most do these days) and I haven’t regretted listening to them, they’re amazing, always a different lineup over the years but always keeping the same stage presence. Their renditions have helped me during my darkness days, so my question is this, do you think music has a transcendental effect on the consciousness or is music just a bit of fun? I’d like to know your thoughts.

Lots of roars Kelly

Misconceptions of The Macabre Kind.

Greetings dear readers and gluttons for my punishments. I’d like to preface this post by saying that by no means am I a hardcore goth (to capitalise or not to capitalise, that is the question) but I do have a penchant for the gothic in nature,  97% of my clothes are black, I dye my hair black, have a love for a black or blood red lip and love the paranormal, basic Addams family reject…but I don’t think I’ve earned the goth label yet. I digress, being a semi-goth I wanted to share with all of you a list of things funny (and not so funny) things that I’ve noticed (completely subjective) of peoples perceptions of me and goths in general;

A) People will call you a goth even if you don’t identify as one, just because you wear all black (It’s slimming!), sometimes even your own family will say when they talk to neighbours, “Oh yeah, she/he’s going through the goth phase” which leads me to the next point.

B) IT’S NOT A PHASE! For most it’s a lifestyle choice and not and never has been a phase…some people have grills, snapbacks and like to say “Innit” a lot, some people have fangs and black coffin shaped backpacks and like to say “Welcome to my crypt” a lot…so what? for both it’s a life choice, not a phase.

C) IT’S A PHASE! Conflicting to the previous post is if it turns out to be a phase, slowly you start going for black boho dresses and think it’ll be okay, it’s only one slightly different style dress, isn’t it?!  and then it turns into white fairy dresses and you say you’re still being mystical at least and then you’re in a pink PVC little number…suffice to say this is confusing for some, especially when there’s backlash from both communities about it, some say you’re being disingenuous, some say you’ve grown out of it but neither are true, you’re just doing you but some people will act like you’re a traitor but that’s okay, as long as you’re happy.

D) You’re evil…run…run. Not much to say about this one, you’ll hear it certainly but yeah maybe they’re just small minded…so yeah just do you (as long as you’re not actually evil! but I’m pretty sure you’re no more evil than I am, muwahahaha)

E) A particularly annoying one for me, the sex you’re attracted to assuming you’re into BDSM just because you’re look ravishing with your piercing eyes and blood red lips but no, no one has the right to assume anything about you, especially sexually, if you’re feeling even the slightest pressure from anyone even a boyfriend to do anything you don’t want to, get out of there and kick that dude/dudette to the curb, you deserve a Gomez not a Fester.

F) It’s not all about the fashion. It’s not all about lace and corsets, fishnets and PVC, it’s about being one with the tomes you read, the films you like, the music that thrashes or enraptures you, about history, culture and the paranormal.

G) Yes goths can love animals too, I’m a semi goth and vegetarian and proud, we’re all multifaceted people and ironically enough the nicest people sometimes seem the darkest, until you know them, hence why people don’t seem to understand that a lot of us goths should and do love animals, we feel more affinity with their wild nature which is more like our own than most other humans that we know.

H) Goth Shaming and Racial Shaming…basically any kind of shame deserves a middle finger and a staunch “fuck you mortal” and same goes to anyone that says that only us White folks can be goths…are we actually living in the 21st century? but yes sadly some will be shamed for the colour of their skin or/and their attire, just know that you’re above that shit and you can take it and more because you’re a goth, you’re a strong person and you’re doing you, people are jealous of that kind of confidence.

So if you actually read this thank you and send me your questions/clarifications/criticisms…any I missed out on?

Lots of roars Kelly

Dorkiness and Dragons…ROAR!

Fellow nerds out there, on a scale of one to fever dream, how good is Game of Thrones? are the books better? For these are two questions I cannot answer because I have to admit to something terrible that may very well rip apart the fabric of time and space…I have never watched/read it, I know, I know, I have to bluff my way through conversations and pretend to understand the memes, the only thing I know is that poor Sean Bean gets killed off in everything lol. It’s more surprising since I’m actually a big fan of LoTR, Harry Potter, The Witcher games/books…Shrek! Anything fantasy based gets a thumbs up from me…so do you recommend it? or not? better or worse than the books?

Lots of roars Kelly.

I Tried To Resist…Honestly!

It’s been so long since I’ve actually written anything after my hiatus that I’m afraid that I’ve forgotten how to! So here’s an update on what I’m up to, I’m still dreadfully single (come to me for relationship advice at your peril lol), I’m still weird, listening to the King’s Singers right now because I’m so hipster. Still haven’t found a job. Still hoping Daniel Radcliffe will magically appear at the front door and ask me to marry him…or at least ride his broom. So does anyone have any recommendations about what they’d like me to write and how to get back into it? Lots of roars Kelly

Merry Xmas and A Happy New Year!

I hope you all have a Merry Xmas and A Happy New year! Be kind to each other and all creatures, love life, give hope and inspiration, I started this blog on a whim less than a week ago, I’ve never felt drawn to any particular vocation and thought writing/blogging could be it because I’ve loved writing since I was a child, always wrote my own little novels but I realise now that I could never make a career out of it and wouldn’t like to anymore. Although I at first very much enjoyed the process of writing for others and it did bring more creativity and spontaneity out of me, every time I wrote something that got no attention or I didn’t think was good enough, I felt as though I were phoning it in and gradually lost interest, it was actually making me hate the thing I love so much, from now on I shall write privately for my own pleasure, maybe I’ll upload it to sites that match my interest but for now this is it, my blog will languish in the depths of WordPress…It’s not about if you will be successful, it’s about trying something new and inspiring the good in people, I tried and I achieved something…more self-awareness, I tried to do some good and that’s what matters.

Lots of roars Kelly.

Perseverance

I’m not going to lie, I have only just stumbled on a whim into the world of blogging, I have no formal training in the written word as a few of you can probably tell and I tend to get bored of any new project that I start within days, this is no exception because of this I have been reassessing my mind. The trouble of the creative minded, the lament which we all share is the fickle nature of the muses…the glimmering of hope and peace in a shadowed chaotic mind, trying to trace a dream but quickly giving in to the melancholy that whispers to us in honeyed words of dreams that we could never hope to aspire to…or maybe it’s a psychological error inherent in all those with a creative eye and a neurological need for validation and inspiration, how quickly that dissolves into the abyss of lost ideas…and with that I wish you all a very merry Xmas, I shall persevere to be lazy as possible over the season, lots of roars Kelly.